Diary of a Cute Face

An Open Letter to The First Lady

2009-04-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Mrs. Michelle Obama,

I hope this letter finds you well rested after your international trip with President Obama. While I was reluctant to give you any credit on your style, I must say that you have been doing SO much better. I take full responsibility as I am sure that you are an avid reader of my blog.

Anyway Michelle (I can call you Michelle right? Thanks!), this isn't a letter about your style or another indecent proposal for a night with Barack. By the way, I am still awaiting your response on my series of detailed emails on potential scenarios that could work. But I digress, this email is strictly concerning the one thing that the media hasn't talked about- Malia's hair. Exhibit A-

As a black woman with thick frizzy hair, I totally sympathize with her situation. Yet, my sympathy does nothing for those huge dinosaur braids that you insist on putting in that child's hair. I know grandma is probably taking care of that- but seriously, its time for an upgrade. Summer is right around the corner and NO black woman wants to worry about her hair in 90 degree weather. Thus, I am suggesting that you (or grandma) take a ride through the south side of Chi-town and find the little girl with the tightest, neatest, most stylish braids and track down her mama. My hunch is that her mother will probably be more than happy to braid Malia's hair in exchange for clearing up some "situations" in her past. At minimum, she will be able to point you in the right direction.

Now Michelle, this is no slight against you as a mother. I think you are doing a hell of a job handling business. I am simply concerned that Malia is closing in on "the awkward phase" and those braids aren't doing her ANY favors. Attached you will find a few suggestions from yours truly.

Best of Luck,

TRC

P.S. Can you kindly explain to the Secret Service that I am a close family friend? Being kicked off the White House lawn is starting to get quite embarrassing. Smooches!

Unsolicited Advice: Stop giving him EVERYTHING!

2009-02-27T09:27:00.001-08:00

A few months ago, I had a conversation with a small group of young professionals about relationships. I came away from the discussion with several thoughts but the two most prominent were (1) shock at how naïve men can be when it comes to the true motives of women (2) how women put their lives into men that we aren’t going to end up sharing our futures with.

Everything started when one of the gentlemen began to talk about how much his girlfriend (that he kind of hates) does for him and how he wouldn’t be able to find another woman to do these things. Yet, he knows that he isn’t going to be with her for the rest of his life. Being the nosy therapist that I am, I asked a few probing, open-ended questions and found that all of the things that he was so “in awe” over were pretty simple things that nearly any women would do. For instance, resume reviewing. Ummmmm, do you have any clue how many resumes I have proofread for friends? NEXT... Motivating him to get a better job. Yeah, uh, that's in her best interest too… Anything else? Blah, blah, blah. The guy goes on and on about the things that come standard with any chick that has half a brain and a vested interest in a man. The other men in the room were nodding their heads as he spoke like he was preaching the gospel. That's when I realized that I was not only going to laugh in their faces but I was going to have to school these fools. So here it is:

Once you get with a woman after she has graduated college, she has one goal in mind when it comes to relationships: to meet a man of her caliber or make the man that she is currently dating into said character. So ANYTHING that she does to aid him in getting to where SHE wants him is merely an investment into her future. This is why we get so upset at the end of a relationship because we can't turn the prince back into the frog and some other chick is going to end up wearing the crown you worked for.

But this is where the average woman stops, primarily because she doesn't even realize the value of taking it a step further. We as women have got to stop letting these fools leave us with nothing but a broken heart and lyrics for the next sad love song. We have got to work relationships for more that the love but also for where we can get when we work with someone not FOR them. Did you get that? Not FOR but WITH.

For example, I'll stay up until three in the morning reading a case, drafting an opening argument for my man I will and it has NOTHING to do with loving his ass so much or enjoying missing out on my beauty rest. Hell, I was in the GHETTO last weekend on some random investigation. P.S. - NEVER AGAIN. But I digress…

The point is that I don’t do these things because I just love helping my man. Everywhere I go, I have MY business card and I use the opportunity to network for MYSELF. In other words, supporting him has everything to do with learning something new for myself and using each of our careers to further the other's. Besides, the next time I am at an event and someone brings up an arson case, I will have an educated comment to make not just a joke about Left Eye's crazy ass (God rest her INSANE soul).

But that's not where it ends. In fact, that's not even where it begins. You see, women just give themselves so freely to men (not just sexually) without identifying the type of man we are with. Just think: how much energy did you waste on getting that one guy from your past up to your level? Did he ever make it? Once he did, where you the one he ended up with? We have to stop trying to be the exception and start playing by the rules.

If the man you are with is someone who you are just casually dating, stop doing everything in your power to do as much as you can for him. Just stop because you performing these random acts of kindness is not going to make him magically mature to the point where he is ready for long-term committed relationship. This is not to say be a selfish, only out for me, type of girl. After all, that won't get you anywhere either. The trick is to strike the perfect balance between giving him a glance at your potential as a power couple and giving him your all.

Once again, this advice is merely for the single ladies or those not in long-term committed relationships. Even in long-term relationships the MUTUALLY agreed upon destination should be the altar or you should pay attention to the aforementioned suggestions as well.

So let's recap-

1. Stop giving every man EVERYTHING!

2. Play like you are the rule, not the exception.

3. If you are going to go balls out for a man, make sure you are adding to your personal skill set and rolodex.

That’s all for now folks…

TRC- Imitation is suicide.

She wore what? Standing next to HIM?

2009-01-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoyed their long weekend. Today was a day for celebration and my hope is that we all found time for reflection. Needless to say, I am so very proud of America. Seriously, we have a Newport smoking brotha, representing the South Side of Chicago, named Barack, running our nation! This feels like a dream and I love waking up to realize this is our reality. But on to other business...

UMMMM, WHAT THE HELL, MICHELLE??? The pictures from today's inauguration will be seen from now until the end of time. And she wore that? Hell no. It is unacceptable and inexcusable. I am sick of little Jill Biden out-dressing her. Michelle should be ashamed of herself. Even Hilary's pantsuit wearing ass had on that fly blue jacket.

She so disappointed me with that outfit. Designers from around the globe would have given their firstborn to dress her and that's all she could come up with? NO... Just NO! I love her, but damn! Did anyone else catch those vomit green gloves she was wearing? She held Lincoln's bible with those monstrosities on her hands. Oh lawd, I wanted Oscar De La Renta to jump out of the bushes and fix it! She is a BEAUTIFUL young woman. Why did she have on that horrible Easter attire? That color was horrid and so monotone! Don't get me started on the pattern.

Look, Michelle and I are the same height with similar body shapes. I understand the plight of a tall,pear-shaped black woman. I struggle with style vs. comfort everyday as I stand nearly naked in front of my closet. I get it, I truly do. But this is where I draw my line in the sand. Today's outfit was a fucking travesty! If she doesn't have a stylist, she needs to get one... IMMEDIATELY. If she does have one, he or she needs to be fired... IMMEDIATELY!

Barack has found his swagger. I am going to need her to follow suit (literally). YES SHE CAN! If you think I am just a hater, so be it, but before you label me, just look to Election Day as another example. She looked a HOT MESS all day. Did you peep the voting outfit with the ponytail and headband?

I almost spit out my orange juice that morning! Her evening attire wasn't any better. The dress looked like blood spatter and what was up with the cardigan? It was Chicago and November. I know the sista has to have a light formal jacket in her closet. Disgraceful, I tell you!

In conclusion, I am incredibly proud of this nation and what we were able to accomplish. After the last two elections, we finally got it right! I will pray for President Obama and his family everyday of his administration. He has inspired millions to follow their dreams and in some cases, to began to dream once more. Congratulations Barack! You kick ass...

But I am going to need you to share some of your swag with your better half (don't act like we don't all know she is running shit). Given the right guidance, she can and will become the flyest first lady in American history. Because as we all know, can't nobody wear a dress like a black woman can wear a dress. Get with it Michelle, your moment awaits...

TRC- Imitation is suicide

What is wrong with this picture?

2009-01-09T09:05:00.000-08:00

Date: January 5, 2009
Time: 11:35 am
Place: Waffle House (south of ATL)

Issue:

Ummmm, why is this lady smoking a cancer stick while hooked up to an oxygen tank? Seriously lady, I can see the tubes up your nose and you are gasping for air. Is smoking really the best choice in this situation? Why not just unhook yourself and end it all now instead of dragging this life thing out? Go ahead, I would respect you a little more...

Oh and take that friend of yours with you. She is a horrible person for lighting up with your obviously ill ass... Errrrrrrr! People are just... just... Errrrrrrr!

I guess the ignorance continues in 09'.

TRC- Imitation is Suicide

The chapter that was 2008...

2008-12-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

The year 2008 will go down in my personal "her"story book as the year that changed my life. I am not who I was on January 1. 50 weeks of life experiences has transformed my soul. Until now, each year was just a passing moment in time. But 2008 needs to be thoroughly dissected before I can move into what God has waiting for me during the 365 days called 2009.

This year was my first official year as a grown up. I didn't have school to fall back on so my career (or lack thereof) took center stage. As the days dragged on, I began to sense this unfamiliar feeling called insecurity creep into my life. Why else would I stay at a job that didn't challenge me and where my paycheck didn't reflect my education? Somewhere along the lines, I lost the confidence that I took for granted and took on a fear of the unknown. The fear that although I was more than properly educated, I wouldn't be able to succeed. I had convinced myself that I was faking it until I made it instead of realizing that I had arrived.

Transitioning from a self-proclaimed slacker to the demands of a job that broadens my horizons has been challenging indeed. Yet, every day I walk into my office, I thank God for the opportunity to bring REAL change to our communities through young minority women who are hungry for so much more. What is more? Well that changes on a daily basis but I know that with my education, experience, and my passion for issues that they face, I can be a powerful tool for the population that I serve. But getting to the point where I own that has been nothing short of the meanest battle with my deeply buried demons.

If that were the only hurdle that 2008 had, I might have won the race with seconds to spare. What I found is that the Lord wasn't finished with me yet. He worked on me in 2008 like he has never worked on me before. He forced me to see myself in a not so perfect light. He showed me the error in my ways through the love of man. What I have come to realize is that love is the strongest emotion we have the pleasure/pain of experiencing. Love will change your life and I am not talking happy go lucky love. I am talking about totally exposed, flaws glaring, heart bleeding love. A feeling that will no longer let you fool yourself into believing that you are always right. An experience that made me believe in something greater than myself. A partnership, while imperfect, that has the world feeling just a little smaller. True love... And that shit ain't easy. We don't get there without hurting and we might never get past the pain but when you have it, you know it. And you will never let it go.

But yet and still, God still wasn't done with me. I had more battles to fight and more lessons to learn before the year would close. Apparently, I needed a helluva lot of work in the power of patience as it pertains to family. He is still working on me with that one. Patience and understanding is one thing but being content with the bad decision making of others is another. Biting my tongue has never been a strong suit so he sent people that I love to tap dance on my last nerve in 2008. Trying to muffle the screams from your soul while listening to ignorance being spewed by someone you used to respect is harmful to your health. I am convinced that 2008 has taken 6 months off my life in this area alone. Being comfortable with mediocrity when you are in the presence of greatness has been a hard fought battle but one that I lost. I have discovered that I will NEVER be okay with drastic underachievement but it is not my duty to continually remind someone of the horrendous choices that they constantly make. Sometimes, silence is truly golden.

You would think this was enough and even Jesus himself would be tired of creating situations for me to overcome but just as the year was coming to a close, he hit me with the hardest challenge of them all. Some how, some way, I have to accept that life is not fair but it is short. That our plan and God's plan are never the same. That sometimes he picks his most beautiful flower. That I will never again see my favorite Callender girl here on Earth. That there is a beautiful seven year old girl who will cry countless tears for her mommy. No one said it was fair but everyone knows that it is short. Well, hello heartache. Just when I thought you had packed your bags, I turned and you were here.

So 2008, can't say that you were easy but I have learned more about who I am through your obstacles and barriers. While I can not wait for the clock to strike 12, I am thankful for your chapter in this book called life. I didn't win the race but I am just glad to have finished it. Battered, exhausted, bruised but ready to start the next and praying for a reprieve.

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Don't let her death be in vain...

2008-12-15T12:17:00.000-08:00

On Dec. 8th, my cousin was murdered and my heart shattered. This has been the most shocking and painful experience of my life and I know that everyone's prayers are helping me through. I also know that while the events surrounding my cousin's death are insane, it is important for me to share them as we are all in this womanhood thing together. A lot of details are included that are really hard to read and handle. So if you can't read this, trust me, I understand.

Believe me when I say that this could happen to any of us. She broke up with him in September after catching him cheating-yet again. They did the break up dance for about a month until she put an end to everything. He left her alone for a while but started to pop up at her job in early November asking for a second chance. By then it was too late, she was talking to her college sweetheart again.

He still had a key to her house (they lived together for 2 years) so he came over while she was at work and stole one of every shoe and her purses. She was pissed but thought that he was trying to annoy her (she was a shoe fanatic). She wasn't afraid of him until the day after Thanksgiving. She was in Brooklyn with her new man's family. He knew that her daughter was at the babysitter so he went to the sitter's house and picked her up. The sitter was unaware that they were broken up and it was normal for him to get her from time to time. He took the daughter back to my cousin's house and called her to tell her to come home and that he had the kid. She raced home and called another one of my cousins to meet her there. When my other cousin got there, no one was home but the door was open and lights were on. He tried to run her off the road that night so that she would talk to him.

She got away and changed her locks the next day. She also called yet another cousin who is a police officer in her city. My cop cousin made a report and personally contacted him to tell him to leave her alone. He left her alone until last Thursday. She dropped her daughter off at school and came home to take a shower. When she got out of the shower and pulled back the curtain, he was standing there. She freaked out. He had broken in while she was driving her kid to school and hid in a closet for thirty minutes before sneaking up on her. They argued and she kicked him out.

The next morning, she decided to skip town and let things cool down. She went to Maryland and planned to return on Sunday. He called and texted her all weekend and she never responded.

On Sunday morning, the ex went to church, "gave his life to Christ" and went to the funeral home. He chose his casket, his flowers, and made all of his arrangements (with the exception of the date) and paid for it. He waited outside of her house for her to return. He drove his friend's car so that she would not recognize him. She was literally a sitting duck.

She came home and he approached the car. Her daughter and her 18 year old nephew were in the house. They talked/argued outside and she came inside. He followed her in and said hello to her nephew and her kid. The nephew says that he didn't appear upset and he left. My cousin went to the bathroom and called my cop cousin to tell him what happened. The cop told her that he would be there as soon as he was done with roll call so she sat in her room talking to her daughter. What she didn't know was that her ex left only for a moment to grab the gun he had in the car.

The ex came back into the house (the door never got locked when he left the first time - a tragic mishap) and asked to speak to her. She told him no and he told the daughter to leave the room. My cousin told her kid to call 911. Her daughter had the nephew call 911 and she stood next to the locked bedroom door (like the nosey 7 year old she is).

The next part is the worst because it comes from the mouth of a kid. She heard EVERYTHING!!!! They got into another argument, she heard her mom scream "wait, we can work it out" and then she heard gunshots. He shot my cousin four times. When the first two shots in her stomach didn't kill her, he shot again but only grazed her thigh. This bastard walked around the bed where she laid in the fetal position, put a gun to the back of her head and pulled the trigger. She didn't have a chance.

Her daughter says that he heard him crying "really bad" then she heard another shot ring out. This one was him putting his gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. Minutes later, my cousin, the cop, who heard the call over his radio and who the nephew called as well, arrived and kicked the door in. But clearly it was too late. They were gone.

I tell you this not to give out violent details but to give out vital information. She wasn't afraid of him until the VERY end. From all accounts, he was not normally a crazy man. But he clearly had some major issues. It took 15 minutes from the time approached her car to the time the door was kicked in.

Ladies, we have to be careful with these men. We can never assume that we know what they will do. She went to the police, she changed her locks, she did everything they tell you to do. She was only 30 years old. A beautiful woman who gave her everything to her daughter. She could have never predicted that I would be the one to give our family's remarks at her funeral on Saturday.

As disturbing as this situation might be, I have to believe that this happened for a reason and that her story will help somebody. Starting today, I am devoting my time to getting her story out there. If you know any one that could benefit, please share this with them.

Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers!

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

What is New York doing to me?

2008-11-25T17:38:00.001-08:00

Date- This Past Saturday:

After a morning of laying around the apartment in pajamas, Phil and I decided to brave the cold and go out for lunch. Granted our restaurant of choice happened to be two storefronts down from our building but nevertheless, it was out (and they have yummy Spanish food). Well, turns out we should have wandered a little farther...

A few minutes after we sat down, Phil felt something fall on his back. Truth be told, I thought he was imagining things so my response was the standard eye roll. Between ordering and the food arriving, Phil took off this jacket and hung it on the back of his chair.

FIVE MINUTES LATER-

So here I am enjoying my spanish rice and chicken saltado, when the unthinkable happens. Out from under my plate shoots a FUCKING roach!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, your common disgusting house pest (whose likeness is seen above) found its way to my table and was running at lightening speed towards me! WHAT THE FUCK!!! By the way, it is Phil's theory that it fell out of the vent, onto the back of his jacket, and up the tablecloth.

Now normally I would run like the sissy punk that I am, but this time my animalistic nature took over! You see, being with Phil has turned me into an assassin of all things creepy and crawly. I grabbed my napkin and scooped up the little bastard in about seven nanoseconds. At this point, I look up and see Phil has gotten up and is sorta looking like he is headed for the hills. Apparently, I let out a warning yelp before kill mode set in.

But it is not over yet. I call the server over and explain that I have a roach in a napkin. She replies "Oh, no problem" before taking the balled up paper out of my hand. Ummmm, wait did she just say "NO PROBLEM" when there was a roach on MY table? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...

Here comes the saddest and weirdest part of all. We kept eating. I saw a roach on my table, killed it, and kept eating. I was not in a third world country. I was not a starving person. But the food was damn good!

What the hell is wrong with me? Has New York really messed me up that bad? If I was in Atlanta, I would have not only walked out but I would have talked to the manager. But for some reason, I did none of this. I simply finished my meal and enjoyed the afternoon. Clearly, something has happened to me... PLEASE HELP!

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Yeah, I'm nosy! And?

2008-10-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

Eavesdropping is to me what baseball is to America. It is my favorite past time. I will listen to any one's conversation, any time, any place, any where. Here is a gem I heard on the bus last week...

***This is a one way conversation as I could not hear the responses on the other end. I have explained what was going on in my head while listening.***

Ghetto Girl On Phone: You like shorty? You don't have to lie, we are friends. You can tell me.

Traci's Mind: Hey, this looks like an interesting conversation...

GGOP: You think she's cute? I am asking because I am concerned for my friend (in flirtatious tone).

TM: Aw, she must like this dude and she is sad because he might like someone else. That sucks!

GGOP: You like spanish girls. I know you must be trying to hit.

TM: Haha! I see your game, sista. Trying to play the" I know you" card. Let's see how this works.

GGOP: Oh, so you wanna have sex with her? I just wanna know.

TM: What!!!! What the hell did this stupid dude just say? He must have no interest in her. Poor girl. Maybe if she took out that horrible red weave, she could get a nice guy.

GGOP: You hitting it? You can tell me. We're just friends.

TM: She is a masochist. You don't wanna know girl. Of course he is hittin' it. They are always hittin' it.

GGOP: You using condoms? Because I wanna know. I mean if the person I am having sex with is having sex with someone else, I wanna know if you are using condoms.

TM: WHAT!???? He admitted it! Dumb ass! Wait? She's giving him some too? Huh? Well, at least she is protecting herself. Damn, her feelings are HURT!!!!
GGOP: Oh so you hittin it on the regular? You just out fucking huh?

TM: Okay girl, let it go. Don't show out. Just cut him off. You don't wanna go down this road.

GGOP: Let me speak to her.

TM: Oh no!!!! Chick fight. Damn, I gotta get off in a few stops. I am going to miss it.

GGOP: Why not?

TM: Because your ass is obviously crazy! Don't give her the phone dude! Okay, maybe you should but that would be purely for my entertainment.

GGOP: Whatever, I am going home to your son.

TM: OH MY DAMN!!!!! She has a baby with this guy. Man that sucks!

GGOP: Whoa, so now you gotta go. That's not even your girl and she got you racing off the phone. Let me speak to her.

TM: She's pissed!!!! She seemed so nice about three minutes ago. He is stupid for admitting anything to this crazy girl. I wonder what she wants to say to the girl.

GGOP: No you chill, I am not your people. Whatever. Tell her you are talking to your wife.

TM: Oh man! I hate that ghetto wifey term. Its so stupid. You shouldn't have gave it up sweetie because having a baby does not equal marriage.

GGOP: Well give me a divorce then.

TM: Damn, me and my stereotypes! I guess she has papers on this dude. So let this straight, her husband and the father of her son is out banging out this cute spanish chick while she is on the bus? I sure am glad I listened to this. Definitely blog worthy...

GGOP: You know that's why we aren't together now because you can't stay off bitches.

TM: Girl don't go there. Leave with your pride. Don't bring up the fact that he has a record of doing this if you are still messin with him because that makes you look stupid.

GGOP: Why aren't you at work?

TM: Oh, good one... Although it is 8pm.

GGOP: You need to be paying child support. I am going back to court to ask for alimony.

TM: LOL. Wow! Women gets pissed and go after the wallet hard. Let's be serious child support is one thing but alimony... Whatever, why is she sleeping with him if he isn't paying child support?

GGOP: You need to come see your son.

TM: Ah, pulling out the bad parent card. He's out creepin' and not playing with the kid... Let's see where that one takes her.

GGOP: You aint shit.

TM: Guess it didn't work. Damn! I gotta get off the bus.

I post this to emphasize that I listen to and remember almost every conversation that is going on around me. You might be my next victim. Please make it juicy!!!!

Smooches,

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Is that my blood?

2008-11-17T18:27:00.000-08:00

I read a lot of books as a child! In fact, I used to own the entire Babysitter's Club series (I was so lame). Needless to say, my parents were the protective type and my mom might have been a tad paranoid that any ordinary childhood injury would lead to my immediate demise. I would definitely say that much of her paranoia has rubbed off on me as I still am terrified of heights, water, falling, etc. Hell, I am afraid of anything or any situation that could cause physical pain.

The only problem is that I might be one of the clumsiest people on the planet Earth.

Exhibit A: my first busted lip-

I am 26 years old with a professional career, and a non-abusive boyfriend. What the hell am I doing with a bloody lip? Well, I literally punched myself in the face with Phil's fist.

Exhibit B: The deadly weapon-

Seriously! I moved his fist into my lip by freakin' accident and my mouth started to gush this red liquid. Not only was I shocked to see blood but I was more surprised that I wasn't in tears. Apparently, bloody lips don't hurt. I did however find out that they bleed forever unless you rinse your mouth with Listerine. The man with the fist clued me into this trick after five minutes of me sticking Bounty behind my gums.

Anyway, I am secretly kinda proud of my busted lip as it is a symbol of my scrappiness (or my clumsy ass, whichever). I suppose the moral of the story is it is never too late to experience the childhood issues that I missed out on - even a bloody face.

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Wasn't this against the "If he wins" rules?

2008-11-12T14:46:00.000-08:00

Okay so I was in Atlanta over the weekend and the FUNNIEST thing ever happened. Rachel (my best friend) and I were running late to a get-together that I coordinated (like, three hours late) and we still didn't have the ingredients necessary to make the dish we planned. Because we were in a rush, we decided to run to a Super Wal-Mart to pick up the last minute goodies.

***PAUSE- Before I continue with this story, it is essential for me to pause and explain a few things. Rachel loves her some Obama and not like a normal voter. She campaigned for him, contributed financially, knocked on doors nationwide, called folks from her home, hell she even has pictures with him and Michelle! Yeah, I was hating on the pics too! But Rachel also happens to be one of the classiest women I know. Doesn't she look pretty normal? Just wait...

*** RESUME- We were going to Eagles Landing for the get-together. Now if you don't know Georgia, that is about 40 minutes south of Atlanta. While Atlanta might have a large African-American population, Eagles Landing is FILLED with McCain voting, Confederate flag waving, white people (not progressive, liberal white folks).

So we run into this country ass Wal-Mart in Eagles Landing and Rachel lost her Obama loving mind. While standing in the checkout line, she takes a look around and suddenly finds it appropriate to get the HOLY GHOST and start shouting "Obama, Obama, Obama."

Here I am in complete and utter shock while watching white people look at us with sheer disgust. What does Traci do? I pulled out my Blackberry and started taking pictures of her shenanigans! It was too funny not to document. I wish I knew how to videotape...

Enjoy the pic and note the lady in front of us with the "camo gear." She was REALLY pissed!

TRC- Imitation is suicide

After the Ball

2008-11-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

On the morning of January 21st (after the cameras and the glamorous ball), when President Obama walks into his Oval Office for the first time, what do you think will happen?

In my head, I envision him alone and looking around for a few seconds. Once he realizes where the hell he is, I would like to imagine him busting out with the moonwalk or an 80's break dance in the center of the room. Maybe Michelle comes in and Jay Z's "99 Problems" starts blasting in every room of the White House and they dance like they are on the way to the club! Not because he is some ghetto bastard but because we all know that's what we would do. Besides, we all saw that pound she gave him in the primaries.

I am not even suggesting that this lasts for longer than five minutes. After all, he has a bunch of ignorant ass policy to toss out ASAP! But you must admit that after a long campaign, pulling this transition team together, and appointing Cabinet members, the brotha deserves a minute to enjoy himself properly. So break dance Barack, and while you are at it, you and Michelle christen that office right. Bill and Monica did a half ass job.

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Bombs over Baghdad... The Depressing Truth

2008-11-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

My morning ritual always includes coffee and a newspaper. I usually enjoy both on the ride into work. This morning was much of the same until I came across the following article:

Teen bomber rips Baghdad-

A 13 year old girl became the latest suicide bomber to bring carnage to Baghdad yesterday. An explosion damaged a bus full of schoolgirls and as a crowd gathered around the wreckage, the 13 year old detonated a suicide bomb. All told, 31 died and 71 were injured.

As a professional who has dedicated her career to adolescent development (with a special interest in females), this blurb brought tears to my eyes. I am pretty well informed (thanks to the PBS special "Bush's War) when it comes to the Iraq War. I have seen plenty of articles about Islamic extremists using women and children to carry out terrorism throughout Iraq. My eyes have poured through a few pieces on adolescent females and suicide bombings.

I can't help but to think- DAMN! When I was 13, I was worried about if Jeremy Hughes was ever going to notice my existence. I know that there is a huge cultural difference but there is NO way that it is developmentally feasible that this girl went into a crowd and blew up her classmates and bystanders without being coerced into it. Seriously, how INSANE is it that this girl blows herself up and kills 30 people at 13? Acts such as this one, do not anger me. They only succeed in making me so sad for the little girl who has been strapped with a bomb and told by a trustworthy adult that this is her destiny.

How scared did she have to be in the moments before pressing the detonator? Did she have second thoughts? Did she look over and see one of her best friends before she blew everyone up? Was she nervously biting her nails in the minutes preceding the first explosion? So many questions run through my mind when I think about this case. Questions that will never be answered but that are only human to ask. While it may not be "American" to feel anguish over a dead terrorist, I found myself paralyzed with grief this morning. Poor girl, poor world.

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Sidenote: If you ever have an afternoon to spare (and you are a nerd like me), try to watch that PBS special. It will give you all the information you could ever need to know about the war in Iraq. It is simply amazing.

Panties, Please!

2008-11-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Random Subway Man,

As you can probably guess by looking at me, I do not have a penis or testicles. I was born a female thus, I have no idea what it is like to walk around all day with external organs between my legs. The closest comparison would be my breasts.

Now, for these said breasts, there is an article of clothing (called a bra) that helps keep them in place. Bras come in all different shapes and sizes so that a woman can choose the one that best suits her lifestyle and attire. Bras are great!

I believe that I might have seen a product that supports those organs that I do not possess. Hanes and Fruit of the Loom are just two of the brands that come to mind. Sir, I am referring to good old fashion DRAWS!!!! Yes, I am talking to you! It seems to me that you have forgotten this basic article of clothing since you find it necessary to adjust and move your balls around every 8 seconds.

It is quite distracting, not to mention vomit-inducing, to watch as you linger in front of me grabbing the rail with one hand and your crotch with the other.

Maybe you really had to pee. You were doing a weird dance while jamming to your tape deck. Oh, they make these nifty little i-pods now too. Or maybe, you were trying to sexually harass me. That didn't work either since I could only come to the conclusion that you forgot to put on your panties this morning.

Either way, dude try not to forget in the future. You look like a complete idiot!

Smooches,

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

No more excuses...

2008-11-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

"Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, which build monuments out of nothingness. Those indulge in excuses are seldom capable of anything else but excuses."

On November 4, 2008, 64 million Americans joined together to elect Senator Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States of America. Nationwide, people of all colors cast their ballots and entrusted the future of our country to the brain and heart of a black man.

While I believe that the vast majority of African Americans realize the pivotal moment that we all experienced that night, I question whether we all understand the responsibility that comes with it. After all, if a black man with an absentee father (raised by his GRANDparents) is headed to the White House with his beautiful black family in tow, what excuses do we have?

In other words, gone are the days for blaming "the man" for your decisions. Gone is the reasoning for the lazy spirit that has lingered in many of our communities for generations. At least, they should be gone.

Many of the issues our communities face are not going to disappear. That will not change just because the president is black. What I hope will change is that these problems will no longer be looked at as an excuse NOT to succeed.

Your race should no longer be your crutch, regardless of whether you are black, white, purple or green. Race is quickly fading and the content of your character is carrying the weight. Indeed, Martin's dream is coming to fruition.

So with that said, who are you?

Are you the woman who blames the government for your cell phone getting cut off because they reduced your monthly welfare check (and you are pregnant with number five)?

Are you the man that blames our "fucked up" court system for your federal stint when you got caught with 8 kilos?

Or are you the (wo)man that recognizes you might have been born with a set of cards stacked against you and you actively find ways to transcend those obstacles? Not simply adding to them with foolish choices.

I ask this because quite frankly I am tired of the bullshit and the world has proven it is ready for Barack. The question is if our community ready for the REAL change?

Are we ready to take responsibility for ourselves? Ready to claim what was always ours for the taking- our futures? We have been waiting for the opportunity for centuries and now it is upon us. Barack Obama is a symbol of what is possible but is up to us to create our own destiny. He has simply broken through the pad-locked door. We helped him with every vote and every prayer. Now we must continue with the momentum and better the community that he represents to the world.

So I will ask you again- When no one is watching, who are you? Now, what about when the world is your audience?

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Sidenote: I cannot end without taking the time to thank each and every white person who voted for Obama on Tuesday. I don't want to exclude all other nationalities but it is especially moving for me to see so many white people stand by this man. There was a time that he would have been lynched for looking at a white woman, and now they are voting for him to lead the free world. I think that blacks never thought they would see this day because we thought so many white people would never actually vote for a black man. We thought racism outweighed intellect. We were wrong. Our country is filled with people who could careless about the color of your skin as long as your actions are righteous and your intent is pure. I personally apologize for thinking otherwise.

Senseless Violence

2008-10-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know where to begin this post as I am still in complete shock over the Hudson family tragedy. I have an older sister with a semi-insane husband and a niece that I love more than life so I am crushed for her. I can only imagine the agony that the family is going through as they plan a triple funeral. I mean seriously, A TRIPLE FUNERAL? That should never happen... Ever.

When I first heard the news on Friday, I literally screamed at my TV. This went far beyond my usual celeb gossip and into reality. I watch "The First 48" (follows homocide investigations from beginning to end) religiously and I have never heard of something so heartless. When I realized there was a missing 7 year old child, my heart stopped. All weekend I thought about little man and how this crazy wild ass man was in custody and putting this family through hell. What kind of person kills a child and not only a child but a child that you spent Christmas morning with or even took him to get a haircut? You know where he is and you let the family suffer after you already killed two other family members. Ahhhhhhhh, evil people are just EVIL! No one can tell me there is no Satan. Anyway, this was the sad end to a horrible story but the beginning of healing for the Hudson family.

Now for my Traci comments:

While I am no one's judge, I can't help but wonder why Julia Hudson would allow a convicted felon into her family. I don't know anything about her personally so I have no inside track but damn. Thugs need love but not convicted attempted murderer! At least, not from a single mother with a young child to take care of. When I heard Julia describe her son as more of a brother due to the amount of time he spent with his grandmother, I couldn't help but shake my head.

Here you have three innocent people gone and a mother who has to live with the fact that she brought this person into their lives. She is not to blame for Mr. Balfour's actions at all. However, as a parent, she is responsible for the type of people she chooses to expose to her son. It could be that she realized this and got out, hence they were separated at the time of the murders.

My hope is that the survivors of this tragedy will receive the best therapy available because God knows they will need it. For Julia, I can only pray that she will reach a sense of peace in knowing that her child is in a better place with her mother there to look out for him (as she did here on Earth). I also hope that whatever issues that she had that led to her choosing such a violent man as a partner, will be dealt with.

As for Jennifer Hudson, I see so much of myself in her when it comes to this situation. Here she is enjoying the success that she worked so tirelessly for and one phone call changes her life FOREVER. Damn, like I said, I have an older sister and a niece. If I got a call from my sister saying that my mom and my little sister were killed, my niece was missing, and her husband was the prime suspect, I would be one of two places. I would be in the nearest mental health facility or I would be jail. Because if I had the energy to do anything but sob, I would use it to find that bastard and go Carl Lee (a Time to Kill) on his ass. I might even catch an assault case for beating my stupid sister's ass. After all, I am sure the family had a "come to Jesus" meeting with her about this no good thug prior to this horrific series of events.

As a sister, daughter, and aunt, I pray that Jennifer Hudson will be able to move towards a place where it is easier for her to get out of bed in the morning and for her to sleep at night. I don't think you can really ask for anything more at this point.

TRC- Imitation is suicide

P.S. One more thing, what's up with her having to identify all the bodies? I mean, damn! I know this could have been what she wanted/needed to do for her own healing process. But, wow! That just sounds unbearable.

Urban Legend or Sad Reality?

2008-10-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

Why did a crackhead in an ape suit walk into my office today? I mean, a bonafide crackhead wearing a damn ape suit had the audacity to step foot in my office! What is the world coming to? It doesn't have to be Halloween for me to be frightened by a crackhead. I fear for my life every time I encounter one because they have nothing to lose. Seriously, you are selling your shoelaces for a hit. Who is to say that you won't stab me for a quarter?

Anyway, gone are the days of innocent Halloween celebrations. It used to be that this day was reserved for cute kids knocking on your door begging for candy or just a reason to dress like a skank. At most, we feared that some neighborhhod crazy might poison the candy (usually a quick wrapper check would assure us that we were safe).

Well, times have most certainly changed. My entire agency shut down early today due to news reports warning of a local gang initiation. Apparently, the Bloods are using this Halloween as initiation night and slashing African American and Latino women is on the agenda. In a ritual called "100 Stitches", gangsta wannabes are sent to the streets with the goal of cutting a random person. If the cut is severe enough to require 100 stitches, you become a recognized member.

My initial reaction to this was that it had to be some high school urban legend. I mean, several of the girls in my program came to me earlier with the bizarre story. Dramatic teenagers will believe anything was my mindset. It wasn't until I got an email blast from my Executive Director instructing us to head home early, that I realized this was real.

My question is: When did material from urban legends become our reality?

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Random Train Fun

2008-10-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with the NYC subway. Today was a love day. On my way to work, I observed the cutest little boy tearing up a box of Cheez-Its. I mean, he was DESTROYING a huge box. I guess he got ahead of his self because next thing I know the box slipped out of his hands and there were a million orange crackers on the floor. A nanosecond later, I heard the cries of a crazied four year-old whose afternoon snack was ruined.

My usual reaction would be utter annoyance. I don't have kids so hearing one of them cry makes me what to slap the parent for bringing the child into my presence. But this time was different. I watched his little fingers go in and out of the box at least 15 times and saw the joy that it brought. So that when I saw his beloved eats sprawled across the nasty ground, my heart broke a little bit for him.

Not to mention, he was with his cool looking dad who took the time to CLEAN it all up. While he cried and asked for his mother (who was clearly not on the E train that day), I smiled a little inside. But don't tell anyone...

Above is a pic of the boy and his dad wiping his little face. Sorry about the quality. You can't exactly take pictures of random kids on the subway and still appear normal.

TRC-Imitation is suicide

Goal of the Moment

2008-10-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

"Child boo, you know I don't run unless there is money, danger, or a celebrity involved."
-Yours truly, Traci

I can't pinpoint the moment I realized the depth of my laziness. I am sure it dates back to trying to hold my head up at 6 weeks old. I don't know if I am just naturally lethargic or if that's my excuse to the general public. Whatever the case might be, it has to end. The only problem is getting the energy to do something about it.

Make no mistake, I am not some obese, hamhock eating, greasy fingered, depressed lazy chick. I just indulge in my fair share of baked goods and haven't worked out in about three years. Three years, yup three years. I just can't seem to get my cookie loving booty up. I will put on workout clothes and walk a mile or two but sweat? That's not in my vocabulary. Sweat means pain, agony, and shortness of breath. It means waking up early and above all it means sacrifice. Ahhhhhh, sacrifice.

I just can't fathom the sacrifice. Yeah, fitting into a size 6 jeans is fun. But so is laying around the house in size 8 pajama pants (not to mention more comfy). I guess I need to figure out how I can exercise without feeling like I am sacrificing so much. I know, I know, cry me a river. I make no apologies for my laziness. I don't. I am a horrendous human that wants my damn cake without the muffin top that follows.

Being a reasonably intelligent person, I know that not only is this impossible, but I am wasting time thinking about it. So here is the plan. I suppose I am going to do something about it. Here are this week's goals:

1. I will wake up at 7 am. I will not press snooze until 9:30 no matter how warm my blankets are. This one is going to be the hardest.

2. I will do leg lifts while watching CNN and possibly do crunches during commericals... Possibly!

3. I will stop making my "Traci coffee" every morning. Ahhhhhh!!! This one will be difficult since I love sweet, sugary caffeine to start my daily battle with the streets of NYC. I will forgo the hazelnut creamer and five sugars (don't say a word!) for skim milk and splenda (ewwwww....).

4. I will not eat after 9pm. That sounds late but its not considering my schedule. We will revisit this next week and make any adjustments.

5. I will walk to and from the train station instead of jumping on the warm, convenient bus that stops DIRECTLY across the street. This only applies in my nice Queens neighborhood, as I am not trying to die in the Bronx to burn 50 extra calories and only during safe hours. Once again, I would rather be pudgy and safe than slimmer and well, DEAD!

Okay so, I will start with these five for the rest of the week and report back. Wish me luck...

Oh and here's a short New York Times moment of the day:

True story, this was the conversation I overheard on the Bx40. As much as I despise riding the bus in the Bronx, the sheer insanity of the stories I hear almost makes fearing for my life (while inhaling urine vapors) worth it. ALMOST!!!

Girl #1: "Yo, somebody push me outta a moving car, its over".
Girl #2: " It wasn't intentional"
Girl #3: "Girl, didn't he say that last time?"

Only in New York, people. Only in New York.

TRC-Imitation is suicide...

A disgusting start to an otherwise nice Friday...

2008-10-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am going to put it out there. Everyone picks their nose. It is nasty but everyone does it. In the privacy of your own home, do you! Who am I to tell you to get your finger out of your nostril? Here is where I draw the line:

People, please don't flick your boogers on my brand new boots. Just don't. This morning, I was enjoying my coffee and breakfast sandwich on the E train to work. At some point during the ride, I see this random movement in my peripheral. It wasn't until I glanced to my immediate right that I was confronted with an old man literally DIGGING up his nose. I mean, he was tickling his frontal lobe while reading the Daily News. My initial reaction was simply "ewwww". I thought it was over but he didn't stop there. He moved to his other nostril and began to flick his snot balls under the seat.

Now, I am sitting here with my sandwich in utter disbelief. Of course I start to scan the train for any one who might also be observing this hot ass mess. It would be just my luck that everyone else is zoned out and not aware of this madness. I guess it was then that I realized that all these boogers had to be going somewhere. Against my better judgement, I decided to bite the bullet and peek down. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!

Why was there a mountain of crusty, old man boogers dangerously close to my boots? I am talking maybe an inch and a half (see above pic for approximate distance). Paralyzed in my disgust and disdain for this man (who was STILL digging), I restrained myself from calling him out. I wanted to slap his hand down like a mad parent but I didn't want to chance getting snot on my precious skin.

I opted to change seats in the end. Nevertheless, I was totally grossed out and unable to properly enjoy my meal. He owes me $3.50 and an apology...

TRC- Imitation is suicide

Just a bit of advice....

2008-10-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that I have been a political junkie for the majority of 2008. I am extremely excited to see Barack Obama with a lead over McCain as the last days of the campaign have come upon us. While watching history unfold before my eyes has been incredible, I am anxious to see what awaits us on November 5th. Because I know my people, I feel obligated to try and assist in the decision making process of those who will not know how to act. You don’t have to take my advice but please just take November 5th off. Call Human Resources today and get your paperwork signed now, like RIGHT now. No one is going to get any sleep on election night anyway. Not to mention, if Barack pulls this thing off, there will be bottles poppin’ all over the place. So yeah, don’t be ignorant and call out with the whole “my baby’s sick” or “I have a migraine" excuse. As a supervisor, I can tell you that I’m already anticipating it (although, I already made my absence on the 5th clear). Remember, just because there is a black man in the White House doesn't mean that your black ass won't lose your damn job.

TRC- Imitation is suicide

Just Venting...

2008-10-23T10:29:00.001-07:00

"After I got all this energy to snuff this nigga, he went pussy. I mean, I was ready to throw this nigga into the neighbors window"
- Random black guy on the Bx 42

This is why I hate ghetto blacks! If I am the neighbor, I am livid. Why throw him through my window? I didn't do anything but pay my rent this month and now some asshole is crashing through my window. It is 45 degrees in New York today. You know the super is going to take his sweet time to fix the issue. So now I got a broken window, I am cold as hell, and all because you wanted to fight some other ignorant black! Ahhhhhhhh... When will this end? I mean, there is about to be a black man in the White House and we still have this insanity in our communities.

Oh, and can people please refrain from using words like nigga and pussy in public? Its downright embarassing as a black woman.

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Daily Dose of Ignorance

2008-10-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

Okay so I have decided to post when something funny or shocking happens to me. I have to admit that I went into somewhat of a culture shock when I moved to the city. Yet, nothing and I mean nothing, compares to working in the hood. Aside from your usual ghetto antics, I am constantly bombarded with all levels of ignorant on a daily basis. Here is an example:

After working all day and missing my bus, I decided to treat myself to a deserved McFlurry at the McDonald's across the street from my job. Upon entering, I was stopped by a local homeless woman who had set up shop at one of the tables inside. When I say set up shop, I mean that she had her personal hairbrush, comb, and various random items all over the place. No, the wasn't selling them, she was getting settled in for the night. Pretty sad, right? She said one word "fries". Now because it was pay day and she was tore up from the floor up, I decided this would be a great WWJD? moment. I nodded to her and said okay. As I moved towards the counter, she shouted after me "Large, and a Big Mac!". I spun around and shot her my patent "Oh, see HELL no" look and she managed to whisper "please". It took every ounce of Christianity in me but I ordered my McFlurry and a SMALL fry then walked back over to her table. I put the bag in front of her and she just looked at it. Apparently she heard me order (the place was pretty empty) and knew she was missing her beloved Big Mac and was also short on fries. For some reason, I felt the need to explain. "I didn't have much cash" I stated as I walked off. I thought I might have heard a muted "thanks" but I could be just wishing that were the case.

Anyway, what the hell? Since when do people get to shout orders at you in McDonald's? I means, come on! She didn't even order off the $1 menu. That's just common courtesy. And you got an attitude when I didn't buy you what you wanted. IT'S FOOD!!!! And times are hard, I only ordered a McFlurry! Anyway, decided that helping ghetto homeless people will no longer be on my "ways to get into heaven" list. I just gotta hope that Jesus would have been appalled too. I am going to stick with the ghetto teenagers. At least they are entertaining...

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Daily Reminders

2008-09-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

If I speak in the tongues of mean and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love , I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. If is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves.

Love never fails.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knoweldge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love...

1 Corinthians 13 (written by Paul)

Understanding...

2008-08-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

I need to start writing again. The relief that comes with organizing my thoughts into a piece of work has been desperately missed. I've been avoiding my words because of the power behind them. Biting my tongue and sitting on my hands, killing myself slowly. I need to start writing again.

Therapy is putting meaning behind the situations that life presents us with... sometimes the situations that we bring into our lives. Although it makes people feel better, simply saying - "Everything happens for a reason" doesn't constitute meaning. Meaning is comes from your soul understanding the journey. I need my soul to understand because the ignorance is killing me slowly... and I need to start writing again.

TRC- imitation is suicide...