Panties, Please!

Dear Random Subway Man,

As you can probably guess by looking at me, I do not have a penis or testicles. I was born a female thus, I have no idea what it is like to walk around all day with external organs between my legs. The closest comparison would be my breasts.

Now, for these said breasts, there is an article of clothing (called a bra) that helps keep them in place. Bras come in all different shapes and sizes so that a woman can choose the one that best suits her lifestyle and attire. Bras are great!

I believe that I might have seen a product that supports those organs that I do not possess. Hanes and Fruit of the Loom are just two of the brands that come to mind. Sir, I am referring to good old fashion DRAWS!!!! Yes, I am talking to you! It seems to me that you have forgotten this basic article of clothing since you find it necessary to adjust and move your balls around every 8 seconds.

It is quite distracting, not to mention vomit-inducing, to watch as you linger in front of me grabbing the rail with one hand and your crotch with the other.

Maybe you really had to pee. You were doing a weird dance while jamming to your tape deck. Oh, they make these nifty little i-pods now too. Or maybe, you were trying to sexually harass me. That didn't work either since I could only come to the conclusion that you forgot to put on your panties this morning.

Either way, dude try not to forget in the future. You look like a complete idiot!

Smooches,

TRC- Imitation is suicide...