Yeah, I'm nosy! And?

Eavesdropping is to me what baseball is to America. It is my favorite past time. I will listen to any one's conversation, any time, any place, any where. Here is a gem I heard on the bus last week...

***This is a one way conversation as I could not hear the responses on the other end. I have explained what was going on in my head while listening.***

Ghetto Girl On Phone: You like shorty? You don't have to lie, we are friends. You can tell me.

Traci's Mind: Hey, this looks like an interesting conversation...

GGOP: You think she's cute? I am asking because I am concerned for my friend (in flirtatious tone).

TM: Aw, she must like this dude and she is sad because he might like someone else. That sucks!

GGOP: You like spanish girls. I know you must be trying to hit.

TM: Haha! I see your game, sista. Trying to play the" I know you" card. Let's see how this works.

GGOP: Oh, so you wanna have sex with her? I just wanna know.

TM: What!!!! What the hell did this stupid dude just say? He must have no interest in her. Poor girl. Maybe if she took out that horrible red weave, she could get a nice guy.

GGOP: You hitting it? You can tell me. We're just friends.

TM: She is a masochist. You don't wanna know girl. Of course he is hittin' it. They are always hittin' it.

GGOP: You using condoms? Because I wanna know. I mean if the person I am having sex with is having sex with someone else, I wanna know if you are using condoms.

TM: WHAT!???? He admitted it! Dumb ass! Wait? She's giving him some too? Huh? Well, at least she is protecting herself. Damn, her feelings are HURT!!!!
GGOP: Oh so you hittin it on the regular? You just out fucking huh?

TM: Okay girl, let it go. Don't show out. Just cut him off. You don't wanna go down this road.

GGOP: Let me speak to her.

TM: Oh no!!!! Chick fight. Damn, I gotta get off in a few stops. I am going to miss it.

GGOP: Why not?

TM: Because your ass is obviously crazy! Don't give her the phone dude! Okay, maybe you should but that would be purely for my entertainment.

GGOP: Whatever, I am going home to your son.

TM: OH MY DAMN!!!!! She has a baby with this guy. Man that sucks!

GGOP: Whoa, so now you gotta go. That's not even your girl and she got you racing off the phone. Let me speak to her.

TM: She's pissed!!!! She seemed so nice about three minutes ago. He is stupid for admitting anything to this crazy girl. I wonder what she wants to say to the girl.

GGOP: No you chill, I am not your people. Whatever. Tell her you are talking to your wife.

TM: Oh man! I hate that ghetto wifey term. Its so stupid. You shouldn't have gave it up sweetie because having a baby does not equal marriage.

GGOP: Well give me a divorce then.

TM: Damn, me and my stereotypes! I guess she has papers on this dude. So let this straight, her husband and the father of her son is out banging out this cute spanish chick while she is on the bus? I sure am glad I listened to this. Definitely blog worthy...

GGOP: You know that's why we aren't together now because you can't stay off bitches.

TM: Girl don't go there. Leave with your pride. Don't bring up the fact that he has a record of doing this if you are still messin with him because that makes you look stupid.

GGOP: Why aren't you at work?

TM: Oh, good one... Although it is 8pm.

GGOP: You need to be paying child support. I am going back to court to ask for alimony.

TM: LOL. Wow! Women gets pissed and go after the wallet hard. Let's be serious child support is one thing but alimony... Whatever, why is she sleeping with him if he isn't paying child support?

GGOP: You need to come see your son.

TM: Ah, pulling out the bad parent card. He's out creepin' and not playing with the kid... Let's see where that one takes her.

GGOP: You aint shit.

TM: Guess it didn't work. Damn! I gotta get off the bus.

I post this to emphasize that I listen to and remember almost every conversation that is going on around me. You might be my next victim. Please make it juicy!!!!

Smooches,

TRC- Imitation is suicide...