An Open Letter to The First Lady

Dear Mrs. Michelle Obama,

I hope this letter finds you well rested after your international trip with President Obama. While I was reluctant to give you any credit on your style, I must say that you have been doing SO much better. I take full responsibility as I am sure that you are an avid reader of my blog.

Anyway Michelle (I can call you Michelle right? Thanks!), this isn't a letter about your style or another indecent proposal for a night with Barack. By the way, I am still awaiting your response on my series of detailed emails on potential scenarios that could work. But I digress, this email is strictly concerning the one thing that the media hasn't talked about- Malia's hair. Exhibit A-

As a black woman with thick frizzy hair, I totally sympathize with her situation. Yet, my sympathy does nothing for those huge dinosaur braids that you insist on putting in that child's hair. I know grandma is probably taking care of that- but seriously, its time for an upgrade. Summer is right around the corner and NO black woman wants to worry about her hair in 90 degree weather. Thus, I am suggesting that you (or grandma) take a ride through the south side of Chi-town and find the little girl with the tightest, neatest, most stylish braids and track down her mama. My hunch is that her mother will probably be more than happy to braid Malia's hair in exchange for clearing up some "situations" in her past. At minimum, she will be able to point you in the right direction.

Now Michelle, this is no slight against you as a mother. I think you are doing a hell of a job handling business. I am simply concerned that Malia is closing in on "the awkward phase" and those braids aren't doing her ANY favors. Attached you will find a few suggestions from yours truly.

Best of Luck,

TRC

P.S. Can you kindly explain to the Secret Service that I am a close family friend? Being kicked off the White House lawn is starting to get quite embarrassing. Smooches!