Urban Legend or Sad Reality?

Why did a crackhead in an ape suit walk into my office today? I mean, a bonafide crackhead wearing a damn ape suit had the audacity to step foot in my office! What is the world coming to? It doesn't have to be Halloween for me to be frightened by a crackhead. I fear for my life every time I encounter one because they have nothing to lose. Seriously, you are selling your shoelaces for a hit. Who is to say that you won't stab me for a quarter?

Anyway, gone are the days of innocent Halloween celebrations. It used to be that this day was reserved for cute kids knocking on your door begging for candy or just a reason to dress like a skank. At most, we feared that some neighborhhod crazy might poison the candy (usually a quick wrapper check would assure us that we were safe).

Well, times have most certainly changed. My entire agency shut down early today due to news reports warning of a local gang initiation. Apparently, the Bloods are using this Halloween as initiation night and slashing African American and Latino women is on the agenda. In a ritual called "100 Stitches", gangsta wannabes are sent to the streets with the goal of cutting a random person. If the cut is severe enough to require 100 stitches, you become a recognized member.

My initial reaction to this was that it had to be some high school urban legend. I mean, several of the girls in my program came to me earlier with the bizarre story. Dramatic teenagers will believe anything was my mindset. It wasn't until I got an email blast from my Executive Director instructing us to head home early, that I realized this was real.

My question is: When did material from urban legends become our reality?


TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Yeah, I'm nosy! And?

Eavesdropping is to me what baseball is to America. It is my favorite past time. I will listen to any one's conversation, any time, any place, any where. Here is a gem I heard on the bus last week...

***This is a one way conversation as I could not hear the responses on the other end. I have explained what was going on in my head while listening.***

Ghetto Girl On Phone: You like shorty? You don't have to lie, we are friends. You can tell me.

Traci's Mind: Hey, this looks like an interesting conversation...

GGOP: You think she's cute? I am asking because I am concerned for my friend (in flirtatious tone).

TM: Aw, she must like this dude and she is sad because he might like someone else. That sucks!

GGOP: You like spanish girls. I know you must be trying to hit.

TM: Haha! I see your game, sista. Trying to play the" I know you" card. Let's see how this works.

GGOP: Oh, so you wanna have sex with her? I just wanna know.

TM: What!!!! What the hell did this stupid dude just say? He must have no interest in her. Poor girl. Maybe if she took out that horrible red weave, she could get a nice guy.

GGOP: You hitting it? You can tell me. We're just friends.

TM: She is a masochist. You don't wanna know girl. Of course he is hittin' it. They are always hittin' it.

GGOP: You using condoms? Because I wanna know. I mean if the person I am having sex with is having sex with someone else, I wanna know if you are using condoms.

TM: WHAT!???? He admitted it! Dumb ass! Wait? She's giving him some too? Huh? Well, at least she is protecting herself. Damn, her feelings are HURT!!!!
GGOP: Oh so you hittin it on the regular? You just out fucking huh?

TM: Okay girl, let it go. Don't show out. Just cut him off. You don't wanna go down this road.

GGOP: Let me speak to her.

TM: Oh no!!!! Chick fight. Damn, I gotta get off in a few stops. I am going to miss it.

GGOP: Why not?

TM: Because your ass is obviously crazy! Don't give her the phone dude! Okay, maybe you should but that would be purely for my entertainment.

GGOP: Whatever, I am going home to your son.

TM: OH MY DAMN!!!!! She has a baby with this guy. Man that sucks!

GGOP: Whoa, so now you gotta go. That's not even your girl and she got you racing off the phone. Let me speak to her.

TM: She's pissed!!!! She seemed so nice about three minutes ago. He is stupid for admitting anything to this crazy girl. I wonder what she wants to say to the girl.

GGOP: No you chill, I am not your people. Whatever. Tell her you are talking to your wife.

TM: Oh man! I hate that ghetto wifey term. Its so stupid. You shouldn't have gave it up sweetie because having a baby does not equal marriage.

GGOP: Well give me a divorce then.

TM: Damn, me and my stereotypes! I guess she has papers on this dude. So let this straight, her husband and the father of her son is out banging out this cute spanish chick while she is on the bus? I sure am glad I listened to this. Definitely blog worthy...

GGOP: You know that's why we aren't together now because you can't stay off bitches.

TM: Girl don't go there. Leave with your pride. Don't bring up the fact that he has a record of doing this if you are still messin with him because that makes you look stupid.

GGOP: Why aren't you at work?

TM: Oh, good one... Although it is 8pm.

GGOP: You need to be paying child support. I am going back to court to ask for alimony.

TM: LOL. Wow! Women gets pissed and go after the wallet hard. Let's be serious child support is one thing but alimony... Whatever, why is she sleeping with him if he isn't paying child support?

GGOP: You need to come see your son.

TM: Ah, pulling out the bad parent card. He's out creepin' and not playing with the kid... Let's see where that one takes her.

GGOP: You aint shit.

TM: Guess it didn't work. Damn! I gotta get off the bus.

I post this to emphasize that I listen to and remember almost every conversation that is going on around me. You might be my next victim. Please make it juicy!!!!

Smooches,

TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Random Train Fun

I have a love/hate relationship with the NYC subway. Today was a love day. On my way to work, I observed the cutest little boy tearing up a box of Cheez-Its. I mean, he was DESTROYING a huge box. I guess he got ahead of his self because next thing I know the box slipped out of his hands and there were a million orange crackers on the floor. A nanosecond later, I heard the cries of a crazied four year-old whose afternoon snack was ruined.

My usual reaction would be utter annoyance. I don't have kids so hearing one of them cry makes me what to slap the parent for bringing the child into my presence. But this time was different. I watched his little fingers go in and out of the box at least 15 times and saw the joy that it brought. So that when I saw his beloved eats sprawled across the nasty ground, my heart broke a little bit for him.

Not to mention, he was with his cool looking dad who took the time to CLEAN it all up. While he cried and asked for his mother (who was clearly not on the E train that day), I smiled a little inside. But don't tell anyone...

Above is a pic of the boy and his dad wiping his little face. Sorry about the quality. You can't exactly take pictures of random kids on the subway and still appear normal.

TRC-Imitation is suicide

Senseless Violence

I don't know where to begin this post as I am still in complete shock over the Hudson family tragedy. I have an older sister with a semi-insane husband and a niece that I love more than life so I am crushed for her. I can only imagine the agony that the family is going through as they plan a triple funeral. I mean seriously, A TRIPLE FUNERAL? That should never happen... Ever.

When I first heard the news on Friday, I literally screamed at my TV. This went far beyond my usual celeb gossip and into reality. I watch "The First 48" (follows homocide investigations from beginning to end) religiously and I have never heard of something so heartless. When I realized there was a missing 7 year old child, my heart stopped. All weekend I thought about little man and how this crazy wild ass man was in custody and putting this family through hell. What kind of person kills a child and not only a child but a child that you spent Christmas morning with or even took him to get a haircut? You know where he is and you let the family suffer after you already killed two other family members. Ahhhhhhhh, evil people are just EVIL! No one can tell me there is no Satan. Anyway, this was the sad end to a horrible story but the beginning of healing for the Hudson family.

Now for my Traci comments:

While I am no one's judge, I can't help but wonder why Julia Hudson would allow a convicted felon into her family. I don't know anything about her personally so I have no inside track but damn. Thugs need love but not convicted attempted murderer! At least, not from a single mother with a young child to take care of. When I heard Julia describe her son as more of a brother due to the amount of time he spent with his grandmother, I couldn't help but shake my head.

Here you have three innocent people gone and a mother who has to live with the fact that she brought this person into their lives. She is not to blame for Mr. Balfour's actions at all. However, as a parent, she is responsible for the type of people she chooses to expose to her son. It could be that she realized this and got out, hence they were separated at the time of the murders.

My hope is that the survivors of this tragedy will receive the best therapy available because God knows they will need it. For Julia, I can only pray that she will reach a sense of peace in knowing that her child is in a better place with her mother there to look out for him (as she did here on Earth). I also hope that whatever issues that she had that led to her choosing such a violent man as a partner, will be dealt with.

As for Jennifer Hudson, I see so much of myself in her when it comes to this situation. Here she is enjoying the success that she worked so tirelessly for and one phone call changes her life FOREVER. Damn, like I said, I have an older sister and a niece. If I got a call from my sister saying that my mom and my little sister were killed, my niece was missing, and her husband was the prime suspect, I would be one of two places. I would be in the nearest mental health facility or I would be jail. Because if I had the energy to do anything but sob, I would use it to find that bastard and go Carl Lee (a Time to Kill) on his ass. I might even catch an assault case for beating my stupid sister's ass. After all, I am sure the family had a "come to Jesus" meeting with her about this no good thug prior to this horrific series of events.

As a sister, daughter, and aunt, I pray that Jennifer Hudson will be able to move towards a place where it is easier for her to get out of bed in the morning and for her to sleep at night. I don't think you can really ask for anything more at this point.

TRC- Imitation is suicide

P.S. One more thing, what's up with her having to identify all the bodies? I mean, damn! I know this could have been what she wanted/needed to do for her own healing process. But, wow! That just sounds unbearable.

A disgusting start to an otherwise nice Friday...

Okay, I am going to put it out there. Everyone picks their nose. It is nasty but everyone does it. In the privacy of your own home, do you! Who am I to tell you to get your finger out of your nostril? Here is where I draw the line:

People, please don't flick your boogers on my brand new boots. Just don't. This morning, I was enjoying my coffee and breakfast sandwich on the E train to work. At some point during the ride, I see this random movement in my peripheral. It wasn't until I glanced to my immediate right that I was confronted with an old man literally DIGGING up his nose. I mean, he was tickling his frontal lobe while reading the Daily News. My initial reaction was simply "ewwww". I thought it was over but he didn't stop there. He moved to his other nostril and began to flick his snot balls under the seat.

Now, I am sitting here with my sandwich in utter disbelief. Of course I start to scan the train for any one who might also be observing this hot ass mess. It would be just my luck that everyone else is zoned out and not aware of this madness. I guess it was then that I realized that all these boogers had to be going somewhere. Against my better judgement, I decided to bite the bullet and peek down. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!

Why was there a mountain of crusty, old man boogers dangerously close to my boots? I am talking maybe an inch and a half (see above pic for approximate distance). Paralyzed in my disgust and disdain for this man (who was STILL digging), I restrained myself from calling him out. I wanted to slap his hand down like a mad parent but I didn't want to chance getting snot on my precious skin.

I opted to change seats in the end. Nevertheless, I was totally grossed out and unable to properly enjoy my meal. He owes me $3.50 and an apology...


TRC- Imitation is suicide

Just a bit of advice....

Everyone knows that I have been a political junkie for the majority of 2008. I am extremely excited to see Barack Obama with a lead over McCain as the last days of the campaign have come upon us. While watching history unfold before my eyes has been incredible, I am anxious to see what awaits us on November 5th. Because I know my people, I feel obligated to try and assist in the decision making process of those who will not know how to act. You don’t have to take my advice but please just take November 5th off. Call Human Resources today and get your paperwork signed now, like RIGHT now. No one is going to get any sleep on election night anyway. Not to mention, if Barack pulls this thing off, there will be bottles poppin’ all over the place. So yeah, don’t be ignorant and call out with the whole “my baby’s sick” or “I have a migraine" excuse. As a supervisor, I can tell you that I’m already anticipating it (although, I already made my absence on the 5th clear). Remember, just because there is a black man in the White House doesn't mean that your black ass won't lose your damn job.

TRC- Imitation is suicide

Just Venting...

"After I got all this energy to snuff this nigga, he went pussy. I mean, I was ready to throw this nigga into the neighbors window"
- Random black guy on the Bx 42


This is why I hate ghetto blacks! If I am the neighbor, I am livid. Why throw him through my window? I didn't do anything but pay my rent this month and now some asshole is crashing through my window. It is 45 degrees in New York today. You know the super is going to take his sweet time to fix the issue. So now I got a broken window, I am cold as hell, and all because you wanted to fight some other ignorant black! Ahhhhhhhh... When will this end? I mean, there is about to be a black man in the White House and we still have this insanity in our communities.

Oh, and can people please refrain from using words like nigga and pussy in public? Its downright embarassing as a black woman.


TRC- Imitation is suicide...

Goal of the Moment

"Child boo, you know I don't run unless there is money, danger, or a celebrity involved."
-Yours truly, Traci

I can't pinpoint the moment I realized the depth of my laziness. I am sure it dates back to trying to hold my head up at 6 weeks old. I don't know if I am just naturally lethargic or if that's my excuse to the general public. Whatever the case might be, it has to end. The only problem is getting the energy to do something about it.

Make no mistake, I am not some obese, hamhock eating, greasy fingered, depressed lazy chick. I just indulge in my fair share of baked goods and haven't worked out in about three years. Three years, yup three years. I just can't seem to get my cookie loving booty up. I will put on workout clothes and walk a mile or two but sweat? That's not in my vocabulary. Sweat means pain, agony, and shortness of breath. It means waking up early and above all it means sacrifice. Ahhhhhh, sacrifice.

I just can't fathom the sacrifice. Yeah, fitting into a size 6 jeans is fun. But so is laying around the house in size 8 pajama pants (not to mention more comfy). I guess I need to figure out how I can exercise without feeling like I am sacrificing so much. I know, I know, cry me a river. I make no apologies for my laziness. I don't. I am a horrendous human that wants my damn cake without the muffin top that follows.

Being a reasonably intelligent person, I know that not only is this impossible, but I am wasting time thinking about it. So here is the plan. I suppose I am going to do something about it. Here are this week's goals:

1. I will wake up at 7 am. I will not press snooze until 9:30 no matter how warm my blankets are. This one is going to be the hardest.

2. I will do leg lifts while watching CNN and possibly do crunches during commericals... Possibly!

3. I will stop making my "Traci coffee" every morning. Ahhhhhh!!! This one will be difficult since I love sweet, sugary caffeine to start my daily battle with the streets of NYC. I will forgo the hazelnut creamer and five sugars (don't say a word!) for skim milk and splenda (ewwwww....).

4. I will not eat after 9pm. That sounds late but its not considering my schedule. We will revisit this next week and make any adjustments.

5. I will walk to and from the train station instead of jumping on the warm, convenient bus that stops DIRECTLY across the street. This only applies in my nice Queens neighborhood, as I am not trying to die in the Bronx to burn 50 extra calories and only during safe hours. Once again, I would rather be pudgy and safe than slimmer and well, DEAD!

Okay so, I will start with these five for the rest of the week and report back. Wish me luck...

Oh and here's a short New York Times moment of the day:

True story, this was the conversation I overheard on the Bx40. As much as I despise riding the bus in the Bronx, the sheer insanity of the stories I hear almost makes fearing for my life (while inhaling urine vapors) worth it. ALMOST!!!

Girl #1: "Yo, somebody push me outta a moving car, its over".
Girl #2: " It wasn't intentional"
Girl #3: "Girl, didn't he say that last time?"

Only in New York, people. Only in New York.

TRC-Imitation is suicide...

Daily Dose of Ignorance

Okay so I have decided to post when something funny or shocking happens to me. I have to admit that I went into somewhat of a culture shock when I moved to the city. Yet, nothing and I mean nothing, compares to working in the hood. Aside from your usual ghetto antics, I am constantly bombarded with all levels of ignorant on a daily basis. Here is an example:

After working all day and missing my bus, I decided to treat myself to a deserved McFlurry at the McDonald's across the street from my job. Upon entering, I was stopped by a local homeless woman who had set up shop at one of the tables inside. When I say set up shop, I mean that she had her personal hairbrush, comb, and various random items all over the place. No, the wasn't selling them, she was getting settled in for the night. Pretty sad, right? She said one word "fries". Now because it was pay day and she was tore up from the floor up, I decided this would be a great WWJD? moment. I nodded to her and said okay. As I moved towards the counter, she shouted after me "Large, and a Big Mac!". I spun around and shot her my patent "Oh, see HELL no" look and she managed to whisper "please". It took every ounce of Christianity in me but I ordered my McFlurry and a SMALL fry then walked back over to her table. I put the bag in front of her and she just looked at it. Apparently she heard me order (the place was pretty empty) and knew she was missing her beloved Big Mac and was also short on fries. For some reason, I felt the need to explain. "I didn't have much cash" I stated as I walked off. I thought I might have heard a muted "thanks" but I could be just wishing that were the case.

Anyway, what the hell? Since when do people get to shout orders at you in McDonald's? I means, come on! She didn't even order off the $1 menu. That's just common courtesy. And you got an attitude when I didn't buy you what you wanted. IT'S FOOD!!!! And times are hard, I only ordered a McFlurry! Anyway, decided that helping ghetto homeless people will no longer be on my "ways to get into heaven" list. I just gotta hope that Jesus would have been appalled too. I am going to stick with the ghetto teenagers. At least they are entertaining...


TRC- Imitation is suicide...